Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
