Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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