two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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