if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
