are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
