I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize