...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
