he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
