the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
