hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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