My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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