You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
