i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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