so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
