I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
