Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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