I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we're so committed to being not committed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
