Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
