eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
