I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize