So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
