brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Come share oat with me in your robe
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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