just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is the high leading the old right now
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
