In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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