just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
North Korea, Best Korea!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
