I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
