Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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