Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize