I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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