HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
