Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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