You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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