you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
