I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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