Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
