so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So many bounce houses so little time
You took a bar mat shot.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize