Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
