Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
