im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
