Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
