We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize