break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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