It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
