Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
