TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
