So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
