I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
