shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
