When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
