he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
