fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize