There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize