party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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