My room smells like vodka and shame
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
