you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Nobody cheats on THIS.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
