I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
