he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize