He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
