I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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