Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you will always have a special place in my vag
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
