going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
