so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
