from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
